Tiger Woods - Stuck in A Sandtrap.

Welp, it's official, folks. Tiger Woods had at least 1 affair, if not many more.

I gotta say, I'm shocked. Like Kobe Bryant's transgressions a few years back (r-a-p-e allegations), I just didn't see it coming. How can this sweet lookin' Mo-Fo be cheating on his wife? Okay, I guess one reason could be he's unhappy, but why not get a divorce? 'Cause the way thangz are going down right now it's more embarrassing for everyone involved by not signing those papers.

Which inspires me to ask, where's the respect? At the end of the day, that should be there. I can totally understand falling out of love with an individual, but not completely throwing care and consideration out da window. We all know that Tiger was lying, which caused his wife to go through his phone (amongst other things, probably). All he had to do was break it down and tell her, "I'm seeing other women. I'm not happy in this marriage." Sure, maybe he did, but I doubt it. Tiger was obviously very sneaky and dishonest about his cheating (check out the voicemails he left some of the ladies he slept with).

Okay, let me try to understand something real quick. What would cause me to go through my partner's phone? Hmm, I NEVER would, but if I did, this would be why --

-If she was telling constant lies that were driving me insane.
-If she wouldn't answer my questions, or ignored me when I asked about the possibility of her cheating.
-If I saw pics of her flirting with other women in different parts of the country.

But, once again, I am brought back to this question: is it our business? A few days ago, I would have said NO. But, now it is a definitely Yes. This man is a public figure who everyone recognizes in the world. He has a brand and an image to maintain. I've payed to see him and bought numerous products featuring his face smack dab on the front of it.

Tiger, you owe us an explanation. Straight up. No more of the superficial statements on your website. Get out of your house, put a band aid and Neosporin on your cut up face, and get your black booty to a TV studio.

I'm waiting with the rest of da world.

Marriage and Granola.

This involves granola, sticky fingers, and love --

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

I smash a sharp knife into a thick block full of raisins. It slowly comes apart, but the job ain't going by that fast despite my amazing strength. . .


A Chef flashes by, sizes up the situation in front of me.


Chef: "Hey, help Lauren with the raisins. We gotta get 200 of these out before lunch."
I look over my shoulder to see who he's talking to: a thick Woman in her 30s. Is she really going to help to speed the process along? Maybe I should be positive. As she walks over to me, I hear --
Woman: "Hey. Is it Lorraine?"
Me: "Lauren."
She does a laugh smile. Ya know, not really a laugh but not really a smile.
Woman: "I'm so bad with names. Gosh."
Me: "It's all good."
I continue hacking at the raisins as she breaks the small chunks with her hands. And, as the minutes roll by, I find myself wondering what her story is and where she got that big ass rock on her finger.
Me: "How long ya been married?"
She stops what she's doing and looks up to think. I want to scream out, "keep working, goddamnit!!" but decide not to...probably not the best thing to say.
Woman: "Umm...a year I think."
Hmm, I can't tell if she means it in a it's-been-a-year-kill-me kind of way or, I'm-so-in-love-and-thankful kind of way.
Me: "Cool. Why are you here volunteering?"
Woman: "'Cause I'm bored and unemployed."
Join da club.
Me: "Ah and your husband wants you out of the house."
Woman: "Yeah, but not because he's sick of me. Just knows being without a job for so long isn't doing anything positive for my mental health."
Is she crazy or something? Look, I'm down for packing granola -- not crazies.
Me: "How is marriage? Is it fun?"
She stops to look up. Again.
Woman: "This is going to sound weird, but it's a great feeling knowing that he has to fill out a lot of paperwork in order to break up with me."
Not the most romantic thing I've heard.
Me: "Okay, so it sucks?"
Woman: "No, no, it's great. I love being married. I mean, I always thought it would just be the same as before. You know, when we were in a relationship, but it's different. There's a different quality and pressure...but, not a bad pressure. I always have someone by my side and that's nice to know."
I stop without realizing it and smile at her. Yeah, it would be great knowing that no matter what happens, when I go home, there will always be that special person there by my side (unless she decides to take out the paperwork).
Me: "Yeah, that does sound nice."
Real damn nice.

It's hard to remember that life doesn't go on forever and ever.

Ya know, that those hot red pumps I bought for a Christmas party last year won't matter once I'm in the grave.

So...what will?

Perhaps the intangibles...the untouchable thangz that we can't describe with words. Just with feelings. Like --


Love

.
.
.

I can deal with that.

Not so Great for Jon & Kate

'Jon and Kate Plus 8' premiered yesterday, promising an inside look at the couple's rocky relationship. Verdict -- it's time to let go. And, from the look in their eyes, they know it, too.



(Photo found here)


Jon and Kate's marriage has been weighed down by recent reports that they've been cheating on each other, although both have denied the rumors. For the first time, they addressed the media on their show, clearly full of resentment, anger, and hurt in the way they spoke about the other person. I could even feel the tension between them through my television, which is thick as Hell. Anyone can tell they aren't happy and want out of the marriage, but my question is, why aren't they divorced yet? Is it the show, the children, or their pride? Let's be real -- clearly there is love here, but when you can't even get a husband and a wife to sit down together, something's not right. . . right?


It would be a different story if Jon and Kate were respectful of each other and remaining married for the children. I understand that there have to be sacrifices when kids or pets are involved. Trust, but these peeps never show anything but selfishness and petty behavior. But, I also realize that it's easier said than done. I ain't in their shoes. Maybe they're madly in love and, like Diet Dr. Pepper, overdosed on the drama. Maybe it's an addiction now and they can't wait to attack the other person on national television.

Or, maybe it's just hard to let go of a 10 year relationship. And it's just that simple. I read an article in which the couple commented on their relationship. Kate broke it down --

"Very swiftly we turned into two different people and it's just hard."

Two people in two different places in life. Who have changed and grown at a different pace. Sometimes it happens, but it doesn't make the hurt any less painful on your heart, right? When you look at Jon and Kate, you can see the disappointment and longing for an alternate reality. Probably one in which they were still in love, like it used to be. You can see that they both, regardless of how they are at this present moment, tried to save their marriage. It's easy to judge 'em, or to say, "she hates him," or, "they didn't try hard enough." But, let's get real, Anyone with 8 kids and a ten year marriage gave a huge effort at some point. But now, it's just gone.


Check out the article I mentioned here.